Films to get excited about (or not) in 2016
Everyone who is anyone knows there are some huge films coming out next year – Ghostbusters Reboot, Deadpool, Moana, Batman vs. Superman, Captain America, well, I can go on. And while it may only be just after the middle of 2015 and there is undoubtedly still a whole heap of quality theatre-viewing to be done, I’d like to fast forward a little and bring you some of the flicks that aren’t getting much attention. Though some of these rock and we’re so stoked to see, we may have to give a hard pass on others. Check it out.
There’s no denying I love anything to do with Alexander Skarsgard – the Swedish actor made famous from his role as Eric Northman in HBO’s True Blood. He stars alongside Margot Robbie, who plays Jane, in this modern Tarzan reboot that follows closer to the original action/adventure books by Edgar Rice Burroughs. Who knew a blonde-haired, blue-eyed light skinned Swedish man was the perfect casting choice for a man raised by apes living in Africa, but you know, we’ll go with it.
Directed by David Yates, the plot begins years after Tarzan has left Africa to spend a life in London with his wife, Jane. When he’s asked to go back to the Congo to work on trade relations, he’s unaware he’s falling into a trap, led by a Belgian captain (Christoph Waltz).
I’m always cautious about reboots, but 21 Jump Street and Star Trek have calmed me down a little. Anyway, it’s released on July 1, 2016. We’re yet to see a trailer but if it’s anything like the 2013 animated Tarzan, well… just watch that insane trailer.
Fifty Shades of Black
Starring and created by Marlon Wayans, this Fifty Shades of Grey parody, like the original film, will be a cinema miss. The only thing that I think could make this parody amazing is if it’s actually not a parody and features a loving, respectful relationship and safe BDSM practices. I’d pay to see that. (Editor’s note: to be fair, Wayans did bring White Chicks and Scary Movie into the world!) It comes out on January 29.
Ice Age 5: Collision Course
When will it end?!
Join the cast of the original Ice Age film, released in 2002 (that’s right, 2002!!) as they go on yet another adventure. We don’t know much about the film, other than assuming the original cast have signed on again and that the title is Ice Age: Collision Course. I can only hope this is their last ancient adventure and these characters finally go extinct. Release: July 15, in hell.
So this is one of the most epic films of all time. It also boasts one of the biggest price tags of all time – $15 million, which was an unprecedented amount in 1959. Back then, Charlton Heston played Judah Ben-Hur, a Palestinian Jew battling the Roman army during the rise of Christ. After becoming a prisoner of the Roman army, a chance encounter with Jesus prompts him to enter a chariot race to save his family. The famous chariot race scene was completed to scale, had seventy-eight horses and took five weeks and one million dollars to shoot.
So again, iffy on the reboot. Directed by Timur Bekmambetov and written by Keith R. Clarke and John Ridley, the film stars Jack Huston as the titular character, with Morgan Freeman as the man who teaches Ben Hur to race chariots, Toby Kebbell, and Nazanin Boniadi. Though no budget has been released, it is rumoured that Tom Hiddleson was being considered as Judah Ben-Hur, similarly, Pedro Pascal was being considered for Pontius Pilate, but neither worked out. The film is scheduled to be released on February 26, 2016.
Stop with the sequels. Please.
Plot is unknown. Budget is unknown. Cast other than MATT DAMON REPRISING HIS ROLE AS BOURNE is also unknown.
Rumour is Matt Damon and Jeremy Renner (Bourne 4) go all Nick Cage and John Travolta and FACE OFF. Boom.
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
Yaassss! Based on the book, this parody/gorefest is the first in the long line of literary-classics-turned-bloodbaths. It’s being described as a horror romance comedy and originally had Natalie Portman set to star as Elizabeth Bennet and produce, but later bowed out over rumoured budgeting issues with Lionsgate. Now the film stars Lily James as Elizabeth and Sam Riley as Mr. Darcy. Matt Smith and Lena Headley have also joined the cast in what should be a great take on the original classic, but maybe not a version you’d screen in a women’s literature class.
This cutie patootie children’s film reboot from the 1950s is written by David Lowery and Toby Halbrooks. When a boy finds and befriends a dragon dwelling in the local forest, his friendship is jeopardised by loggers planning to destroy the forest. To make matters worse, no one believes the dragon is real! It’s up to Pete to save his best friend, possibly with the help of Morgan Freeman – the only one who believes Pete’s story.
Be prepared for super cute CGI, environmentally friendly values and no musical numbers (wah).
Again we don’t know much about this film because the release date isn’t until April 22nd 2016. But after finding ourselves in the dark, dark corners of the internet, the basic premise is that a kitten goes missing and friends pose as drug dealers to try and get the kitten back. Okay.
Known from their hit Comedy Central show, Key and Peele, Keanu stars Keegan-Michael Key, Will Forte, and Nia Long and is directed by Jordan Peele and Alex Rubens. Sounds…interesting.
The Jungle Book
Scar Jo, Idris Elba, Christopher Walken, Lupita Nyong’o, Bill Murray, Neel Sethi and Ben Kingsley star in this live action film. A killer cast, the plot seems similar to the original Disney Jungle book. I kind of get an Into The Woods vibe (which I personally loathed). Bill Murray is going to sing “The Bare Necessities” but apparently this is the only song the original soundtrack to stay, which is a shame because “I Wanna Be Like You” is such a great song.
Release date is April 15, 2016.
Neel Sethi as Mowgli
Bill Murray as Baloo
Ben Kingsley as Bagheera
Idris Elba as Shere Khan
Scarlett Johansson as Kaa
Lupita Nyong’o as Raksha
Giancarlo Esposito as Akela
Christopher Walken as King Louie
Honourable mention: Zoolander 2 as “2oolander”. Just lol.